Hey Reader,

If punishing yourself worked, you'd have healed by now.

That's a line I said in a class recently, and I can't stop coming back to it.

Most of us have been taught that when we're not getting what we want in life, the fix is to punish ourselves. We just don't call it that. We call it "holding myself accountable," or "making sure I don't make the same mistake twice," or needing a system and a list and someone to keep us on track.

It hides in all these reasonable-sounding places, and underneath it is the same quiet belief: that there's something about me I need to fix.

For me, it was "doing an Amanda." That was the shorthand for being clumsy and accident prone, and it got baked into who I thought I was. So many of us walk around with a version of that: the hot mess, the scattered one, the one who's bad with money or bad with love.

And here's what actually happens when we beat ourselves up for it. We shrink. We get smaller and less visible and less willing to go build the life we actually want. You can't make big waves with your wings when you've convinced yourself you're the size of a fly.

This week on the How To Love Yourself No Matter What podcast, I get into where that belief comes from, how far back it goes, and why it was never yours to carry in the first place. I also tell you about throwing my hip out this week training for a figure skating competition, and the exact moment my brain tried to turn it into proof that I should have known better.

Listen to the episode →

Or listen right here

Having your own back isn't something you master once. It's a practice you come back to, one moment at a time.

xx Amanda

P.S. If you're ready to stop being the woman who's always punishing herself, come book a free discovery call with me. I'd love to talk with you.