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Amanda Hess Coaching

Nobody taught you how to let them go

Published about 5 hours ago • 1 min read

Hey Reader,

Letting go of your kids is a skill. And nobody ever sat you down and taught it to you.

When they were small, the job was obvious. You watched everything, you managed everything, you fixed everything, and they actually needed you to. Then they got bigger, and somehow the watching and the managing and the fixing never got the memo to stop. It just moved into your head and started running on a loop at 2am.

So you lie there replaying the text they didn't answer, the choice you never would have made, the version of them you can see so clearly if they would just listen. And you call it love. But a lot of the time, the overthinking isn't love. It's a way of fighting a feeling you don't want to feel.

This week on the How To Love Yourself No Matter What podcast, I get into the two things sitting underneath all of it. The first is control, how much you are still trying to steer what your kids do and how they do it. The second is the one nobody warns you about, and that's grief. You are losing a role you have held their whole lives. Your grief belongs to you. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

And here is the part I really want you to sit with. Your adult kids are their own people now, not a reflection of you and not a report card on how you did. Love and a firm boundary are not opposites. You can adore someone with your whole heart and still decide you won't be mistreated.

If any of this is living in your chest right now, come listen.

Listen to the episode →

Or listen right here

You are allowed to love them completely and still let them go. Both things can live in the same heart.

xx Amanda

P.S. What is the one thing about your teen or your grown kid that you keep replaying when you can't sleep? Hit reply and tell me the exact thought, I want to know what's taking up that space in your head.

On a Mountain, Kamloops, BC V2C6S9
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Amanda Hess Coaching

Life Coach for neurodivergent women who want to start controlling their thoughts and get rid of anxiety

I specialize in helping neurodivergent women control their thoughts & anxiety

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